Skip to main content

Posts

59 Days and Counting…

A very very important person in my life has recently abandoned me. I call it abandonment because that is how it has panned out over the weeks. Total incommunicado. No phone call, no messages, no emails, no responses to any of my calls or messages or attempt to reach out. I felt the helplessness that I have never felt before.  The feeling of rejection, humiliation and abandonment engulfed me totally. When you want to speak to someone and you can’t or are not allowed, it can be heart breaking. Mind was full with all kinds of questions and doubts. . Fortunately for me I was aware that the person is alive through his off and on online status or his change of his whatsapp DP.  I wondered what kind of behaviour is this. Did I not deserve being given a reason for non communication; a closure in case I wasn’t required in his life;  if there were issues between us couldn’t there have been other civil ways to deal with it than just leave a person on the highway.  I felt horrible, hopeless and e…
Recent posts

“When in doubt remember…

My grandfather was a Civil Engineer who specialised in ground water issues. A graduate from Roorkie University ( when it was called Thomson College), joined the irrigation department and worked initially under the British and then for many years for the UP government. He was instrumental in the building of many dams and consulting on some very big hydel projects. Later he joined the Roorkie University as a professor in Civil Engineering department and retired as the head of the department.He contributed a great deal in the nation building and was instrumental in seeing India progress toward self sufficiency. My grandmother also did her bit by being a support to him and even otherwise. When the 1962, war happened she and many ladies like her knitted sweaters for the soldiers. They even donated gold to the government to fund the war. This background was needed to put in context the content of this blog.
When I was a child, one day I asked my Grandmother, “Dadi, why did baba not particip…

Speaking may kill, Silence will kill for sure...

Everyone is writing/tweeting about #metoo in India. Either coming out and having the courage to tell their story, or to express what is it that they feel when they hear about the experiences of these women or the silence /apologies etc of the men... I wanted to stay quiet on the subject but decided not to... People are angry with those who sided with the abusers and or did not take action when they received the complain... Rightly so... However I am not angry with this category of people who stay silent... We all have to make a choice when we are faced with a situation  and let me tell you most people men and women do not have the courage.Before becoming an artist I was in the corporate world and for more than a decade. I was in the HR side and most of my experience was in media houses. I experienced sexual assault from the day 1 of my career. Either as a victim or sometimes as the one people came to when they faced with a situation...  I was 25, in my 1st job as a trainee, in the 1st…

A part of us... Gagan Sardana!!

Yesterday morning at 4 am I woke up to the terrible news about Gagan Sardana. Our dear friend from graduation days was no more. Message exchanges at wee hours actually got home the point. Shell shocked. Our friend, our age, cardiac arrest, just like that gone in a whiff. Impossible but true it was...
The whole day went by in just talking to various friends and sharing each other's grief. Then it struck me. All of us were from a phase in our life where we were together most of the days. Sitting on footpath outside college or in canteen or just going out to various monuments or to someone's house. Teaming up for festivals, having a keen interest in the love lives of each of us... Being a rock support when the love was serious stuff  and leaving no chance to pull leg when it was just a one sided infatuation...  We may not have had one on one equation with all in the group but as a group we all were there for each other...  3 years went past in a jiffy and we all moved on... Life h…

Curtain Raiser to "Manahsthiti by Shubhra"

Happy 2014 it was and happy 2015 it will be...

As another year went by, I sat down  to ponder on how the year faired. The tasks left undone, the accomplishments, the failures and the success all started flashing through my mind...  It's then I realised that what's important to savour are the experiences and not so much the annual to do list. So I decided to recall my various experiences both  direct and indirect.2014 gave me my biggest project till date,  another stepping stone.  A project that made me come out as a  stronger person.  I saw dreams coming true and  friends and relationships falling apart. I saw money taking control of people and their behavior. I also had friends bailing me out of the crisis.  I saw the joy of work well done on the faces of the labourers and I felt the muscles strain in the effort to meet deadlines.The year made me cross my comfort zone and made me do work I had never attempted before.  It made me experiment and it saw me out-perform my earlier work.  I also connected with many new kids.  P…

"aaj sir ke yahan baithak hai..."

It's been a year today  since Khurshid Anwar jumped off his house.  He succumbed to the trauma that he had been subjected to.  Falsely accused of rape,  instead of following the process and the law,  he was pronounced guilty by a section of media and many others who maligned him,  his reputation and his entire existence on social media and off it.  He on 18th December,  2013 at about this time gave in to it all...  His perpetrators are free,  enjoying life,  active on Facebook, in social circles and some also in political circles. The said victim never showed up after her accusation. The police have still not filed an FIR on the complain registered by the family against some prominent people.  The court has given dates and the process is on... System is working at its own pace. Khurshid Anwar is no more and the world has moved on...  His house got wound up.  Family which was away from him but had united on his demise has also moved on.  Organisation which was closest to him as the…